Archive for: who's it hurting?

My Mom would save every twist tie and put them in a baggie in the kitchen drawer. She would wash out individual plastic applesauce, pudding and fruit cups and keep them stacked on her dresser. She would take home any plastic forks and spoons and wash them and keep them in her desk drawer. Was she hoarding? I don’t think so. She was saving these things cause, “You never know, they may come in handy.” She also grew up during the Depression and they needed everything they had. Saving feels responsible. We all want to feel like we are being responsible with what we have.  Your loved one may take things from others, whether it is other family members or other residents if they live in a care community. Most of the time this comes from the same attitude of being responsible. If you have short term memory loss every baseball glove can feel like the same baseball glove: yours. A person living with dementia can see a baseball glove and think, “What is my baseball glove doing there? Better put that where it goes.”   You loved one has not become a criminal or a “hoarder” they are doing what they have always done but now it is being influenced by dementia.  When events like this happen it is important to ask yourself this question, “What is the problem with this? Who is being hurt by this action?” Sometimes we see something we don’t understand and think, “Oh no!” But is this really an “Oh no!”- situation. Maybe there isn’t a problem at all because the only one with a problem is you. …