Overall Tips on “Behaviors”
The word behavior in dementiaDementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia.... More care or even healthcare has gotten a bad rap. We tend to only think of the negative and not the positive.
I use actions and reactionsWe have started to not use the word behavior because it only has a bad connotation. We never speak of all the good "behaviors" a person with dementia has. Loving, kind, silly, artistic, fun, willing to try, funny... We only talk about what we perceive as bad, inappropriate or need to be managed behaviors. A lot of a persons "behaviors"... More, since many “behaviors” are just reactions to our actions.
If we get upset at our computer or we’re cranky at 4pm or maybe frustrated at a co-worker for not finishing their side of your project; no one says, “Geez Pam sure has some behaviors today.” We are reacting normal for the situation that we are in.
WhyLet’s say a person living with dementia is upset we give them some ice cream and they are okay, then they are upset again. We can’t keep giving them ice cream, we need to find out the WHY. Why are they upset? If we don't look for the WHY in any situation we will continue to solve everything with band-aids... More when a person receives a diagnosis of a type of dementiaDementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia.... More almost everything, they do need a label? We don’t see anything as normal like we did before the diagnosis. Most of the negative behaviors of persons living with dementiaDementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia.... More, we have invented by taking a good behavior, walking and we turn it into wanderingWhenever I get fed up with life, I love to go wandering in nature. - Andrea Arnold Well, I sing by night, wander by day. I'm on the road and it looks like I'm here to stay. - Bob Dylan Not all who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien Wandering is a label that we use for people who do... More or saving items and it is now hoarding.
So before you look at a person and say what inappropriate, bad or difficult behaviors they have, first think about:
Whose problem is it?
Is what the person is doing a problem? Or is it just a problem to you? Maybe it is not what the person would have done before they had dementiaDementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia.... More and you are wanting them to “act normal”
Whose it hurting?
Is it hurting anyone? Physically or emotionally? Maybe your Mom never danced around the kitchen before, maybe she found it too silly. Maybe your dad likes to sit in the backseat while you drive? What does it hurt?
Is this the person naturally?
Was your Grandpa always grumpy? Your Aunt never wanted to do anything but sit inside and smoke cigarettes and watch her shows? Did you know that before the kids were born your Dad liked to walk around in his boxers inside the house? Maybe this is just who the person has always been and you didn’t realize it?
Is it a matter of health and safety?
If what they are doing is a matter of health or safety, then yes of course we need to look further to the reason whyLet’s say a person living with dementia is upset we give them some ice cream and they are okay, then they are upset again. We can’t keep giving them ice cream, we need to find out the WHY. Why are they upset? If we don't look for the WHY in any situation we will continue to solve everything with band-aids... More and what we can do.
Are we the ones with the por, bad, need to mage or inappropriate behavior?
We, the caregivers, are the ones who need to change our behavior, not those we care for.