You know the feeling. Something different happens. The normal day to day events are interrupted by some novel event. Like if there is a squirrel at the window. A squirrel looking into the house like he locked his keys inside. You see this. I imagine your first thought is to look around and see if anyone else has noticed this weird squirrel. Saying, “Do you see this?” seems to be the most natural thing at that moment.
We need to share things. What we think, want, and don’t want. It’s a need so deep you might not even know it is there, like breathing. This doesn’t change after a diagnosis of dementia. Everyone wants to have this feeling, “if I am not there then I will be missed.” If you can provide that, “you are needed” feeling to a person living with dementia then you have done it. You win at caregiving.