Firstly, be cool. Your loved one didn’t choose this awkward situation either. Be firm and kind. You can navigate this relationship challenge to dementia care by setting boundaries and providing support.
You are taking care of your mom. You’re being friendly and nice. You’ve made her feel safe and happy. This is what you wanted. However, dementia can make the past all of a sudden return like a spell. In some ways like a love spell. This happy feeling she has now has made your mom feel like she is in the middle of something familiar…like a date.
This kind of thing can be reacted to in a positive way that respects everyone and hurts no one. Keep focused because feelings are intense. It can be easy to accidentally hurt who you care for at this time. What is their point of view? Perhaps she is confusing you with your father? The good news is, you made your mom really happy, and she feels safe. Don’t dismiss that or or take those positive feelings for granted and ask how she is feeling. You may learn something new.
So, well done! If However, boundaries are being crossed and you are feeling threatened then speak up. You should not avoid upsetting who you care for if it means YOU feeling unsafe. That is not acceptable. I dearly hope you don’t need to choose between those two. But just like the airline safety speech about the Oxygen masks: put your own mask on first and then assist others. You have to be safe to make who you are caring for feel safe. Always remain kind. It’s the best way to see things for whatever they are.
Know and be firm with your boundaries, and be cool. Things are just generally misunderstood at the moment. If you can, go ahead and put some space between you and your romantically inclined person. The friendlier and relaxed you are, the more quickly things will get back to normal. Setting boundaries and providing support will get you through, and remember it is a weird sign of success.